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A friendship or romantic relationship can get through many ups and downs.  At times, during our hurt, it can feel as though our affection has vanished.  Often, however, we can return to closeness because our very hurt tells us we care.  Indeed, relationships can grow stronger from periods of disappointment. What relationships cannot survive is a loss of respect.  When we feel disappointment and hurt, often it's because of actions that the other person has taken.  When we feel a loss of respect, it's because the other person's character has come into question.  We can tolerate a disagreement with a spouse or business partner and often grow from the resolution.  What is far more difficult to accept is betrayal and dishonesty.  The person we trusted is not the person we had hoped for.  The issue is not bad actions, but bad actors. Once respect is lost, can there be genuine caring, liking, and love? Missing in many discussions of personal growth ...

Recently, I've been privileged to speak via Zoom with a number of those directly impacted by the Middle Eastern conflict.  It's been a dramatic reminder of how strong people can be, even when they feel overwhelmed and broken.  Most of us have been through a life event that has had traumatic impact, whether it be the loss of a loved one or an episode of threat and violence.  One of the real challenges of trading financial markets is that, if we don't exercise sound risk management, we can experience losses so great that they overwhelm us--personally, as well as financially.  Whenever an adverse event threatens what we value, the result can be stress and even trauma.  As the group on Zoom reminded me, the above situations are different from what is happening now in the Middle East.  A traumatic event typically has a beginning and an end.  Once it's passed, we can focus on coping.  What do we do during a violent and scary war that has no foreseeable ...

  One of the most widely read TraderFeed posts in the last few years dealt with the topic of FIGS:  Focused, Intensive Goal Setting .  Too often, the goals that we set are not much more than good intentions.  New Year's resolutions are a notorious example.  How can we become better at actually achieving the goals we set? As the previous post emphasized, when we focus our attention on fewer priorities and work consistently and intensively on those, we are much more likely to make progress than if we have a laundry list of changes to make and work on those as the need/desire arises.  So, for instance, if we want to get in good physical shape, dedicated daily time with gym equipment and running is a great start.  That time with lifting, stretching, and running has to challenge us, which means we always tackle more when a given level of effort becomes routine.  If our pursuit of goals is not focused, frequent, and intensive, we're unlikely to sustain ...